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Network Computing

F*** My Life

• Anonymous says FML
  Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML […]
• kaytay2469 says FML
  Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML […]
• Anonymous says FML
  Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML […]
• whyamiwithyou says FML
  Today, I found out my boyfriend went to a party, without me. I had planned a surprise get together with his best friend, who is on leave from the army. He told me he was busy taking care of his parents, who had food poisoning. I found out he was lying when he called me to bail him out of jail. FML […]
• jentea says FML
  Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML […]
• Anonymous says FML
  Today, I found out my mum has been wearing my underwear. When I confronted her about it, she shrugged and said "I'm not stopping." FML […]
• ow says FML
  Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML […]
• clumsysteps says FML
  Today, I took my first steps without a cast and a brace after a broken foot for 7 months. I put on sneakers, and 5 minutes later I severely sprained the ankle in the same foot. FML […]
• hotfoot says FML
  Today, I was crossing a crosswalk when my sandal broke and fell off. Thankfully, I finished crossing the street safely, but in the 110° Arizona heat, the asphalt fried my right foot so badly, it has blisters. FML […]
• Anonymous says FML
  Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML […]